Stupid Shit Gamers Say

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Dear Bioware,

Posted by steriledirt on February 25, 2012
Posted in: I Annihilate What I Do Not Understand. Leave a Comment

While I do stand by a solid opinion that people overreacted and were ultimately childish in their outcries against one of your writers, Jennifer Hepler, I do believe she has no place either in your offices OR in the gaming industry as a whole.

Her forced, cliche-addled, (and ultimately)  talentless “ability” at the craft aside — she has flat out publically stated, she hates video games.

No, no. Don’t try to defend or apologize for her. She said clearly and plainly: she hates video games – and that she is only writing for the industry for the sake of writing (something, ironically, she isn’t very good at).

I don’t understand gamer culture these days — and the deepest groove in my bemusement stems from the actual industry itself and how it operates not only dealing with consumers — but primarily with how it handles itself from a business standpoint.

I don’t understand people like Hepler. She somehow lands in an industry BEGGING for writers — its hands are out, ASKING for them — and she doesn’t care about the overall product — the VIDEO GAME.

I’ve always wanted to write for video games. Half the fantasy novels I write, I envision as RPGS in my head.

But that’s beside the point.

Get some self respect and kick Hepler out on her ass. She’s not a worthy asset to you, or to anybody else in the industry.

And if you don’t want to listen, maybe somebody else will.

# 890

Posted by steriledirt on January 27, 2012
Posted in: Lacking Braincells. Leave a Comment

I want to play this, but I’m not sure I can stomach forking over $50 for a handheld game.

~ See: the comments section of “Resident Evil Revelations: The Kotaku Review“

My own personal beef with the RE franchise aside, I always find it entertaining when gamers bitch and moan about how much money they have to invest in their precious hobby. I hear such stupid sayings, such as “The game length should equal the dollar amount you spent on it (aka 60 hours = $60.00 USD).

I’m not sure why this guy is bitching about a $50 price tag on a handheld title, unless he only ever buys bargain-bin games, or has been trolling unwitting thrift stores for his gaming habit over the past few years. It seems logical to me that a hefty price tag is to be expected for most new games with big publishers behind them, no matter the platform they’re on — that’s how it’s always been, as far as I know.

And even then, why does it matter what platform the game is on? How does the fact that Resident Evil: Revelations is on a handheld system make it less suitable for a $50 tag, as oppose to it being on a console system?

# 56

Posted by steriledirt on January 25, 2012
Posted in: I Annihilate What I Do Not Understand, Lacking Braincells. Leave a Comment

Please don’t say it’s just a game, it’s like saying World Trade Center was just some buildings with some people.

~ See “It’s Just a Game”

Another asinine “quote with 9/11″ haphazardly slapped on for brainless relevance. Admittedly, I yoinked this quote from Shit Otaku Say, but it was too perfect to pass up.

The thread itself is pretty great, and I’ll probably harvest some stuff from it when I have more time, but the full quote, straight from the OP’s fingertips is this pure magic:

It’s a well known fact, that if something can throw a gamer off track, it’s this:

“Relax, it’s just a game” or “Calm down, it’s just a game” or, as this forum proudly displays “don’t panic, it’s just a game”.

It pains me to see people still writing this, and it kills me to see the creators doing so. Pacman is just a game. Tetris is just a game. Half life, Assassin’s Creed, Skyrim, LIMBO, Portal and Katawa Shoujo alike, isn’t just games. It’s art, it’s beauty, it’s something to be experienced and admired, it’s something you put your time into, it’s one of the few positive sides of the human mind and influence. It’s something that makes you think and wonder, something that makes you feel and jadda jadda, I’m not gonna try and give a lengthy speech, since I’ve already made my point.

Please don’t say it’s just a game, it’s like saying World Trade Center was just some buildings with some people.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Posted by steriledirt on January 25, 2012
Posted in: Lacking Braincells. Leave a Comment

No specific gamer related BS, but something that could very easily cultivate some! Namco just released shots of some of their character roster for the upcoming Soul Calibur 5 … including ERECT-NIPPLED AND BACK-BREAKINGLY BIG-BREASTED TAKI,  DARTH MAUL FROM STAR WARS, and THAT BLUE CHICK FROM AVATAR to mention a couple.

Ugh.

The site hosting the character portraits isn’t in English, but it’s not the words that really matter, I think. See the crap here.

#15

Posted by steriledirt on October 17, 2011
Posted in: "Hardcore" Bullshit. Leave a Comment

“A hardcore gamer is someone who plays a lot of games in varied genres and has a lot of knowledge of the industry and how everything works.”

~ See: “Hardcore Gamers????? What is One?”

Take this one as you will. Found this quote in a thread on GameTrailers, and I think the Original Poster makes a really good point on this ridiculous “debate” of “hardcore” gaming Vs. “casual” gaming:

“What the hell, there is no such thing……. People keep using the term Hardcore Gamers like gaming is a fucking professional sport. Games are entertainment only, aimed at kids and the younger generation mostly.

please stop – Games and Hardcore dont go together. The casual gamer is no different than a hardcore gamer, the only diffrence is mayb there social life is more, they have a job and they dont get all sweaty the day before a new game comes out. They also probaly prefer sex to playing a game.

Come on people i know you are better than this. Life can not be this tough surely.”

I especially like the “prefer sex” part. Zing~!

# 90

Posted by steriledirt on October 13, 2011
Posted in: Lacking Braincells. 1 comment

“Starfox [on 3DS] comes out Sept. 11…. am I the only one who finds that release date weird?”

~ …What? Really?

See: “Is the Nintendo 3DS Already Tanking?” … As I’ve briefly mentioned before, ScrewAttack’s G1 community is … well … they’re spethal.

The thread itself, as titled, is about the 3DS not really being all it’s cracked up to be. There’s a couple other golden nuggets of “wat” in the thread, but this one quote I couldn’t let slide. Aside from the obvious connotations of September 11th, I have no idea what’s so “weird” about a video game about anthromoporphic Y-Wing fighters in a war against a monkey (who looks like a guy I knew in grade 4) being released on that day. Please, somebody enlighten me.

Okay. This was Cute.

Posted by steriledirt on October 13, 2011
Posted in: "Hardcore" Bullshit, Wimmenz. Leave a Comment

It’s instances like this that remind me that there’s still at least some hope.

# 23

Posted by steriledirt on October 11, 2011
Posted in: "Hardcore" Bullshit, Lacking Braincells. Leave a Comment

“I have been wanting Final Fantasy III for the SNES for awhile.  I finally found a copy and I got it for 35 bucks complete.  Is that a fair price?  I kinda feel like I overpaid.”

~ See: “Did I Overpay?”

Retroware TV (while a great site with contributers who just love games for the sake of gaming, and put their heart into their work) has a really laughably bad forum community, in terms of overall common logic, privlidged-thinking, and collector (aka  hoarding) mentality  (although it is still leagues better than ScrewAttack’s g1 following).

Considering the fact that another forum thread which talks about how infuriating the price of “rare” games are (see: “A Thought About Rare Games”), Final Fantasy III being one of the more irksome of price-gouging, I found this quote pretty amusing. For those who don’t know (or care, which I don’t blame you), a complete copy of FF3 typically goes from $50+ on Ebay.

# 184

Posted by steriledirt on October 10, 2011
Posted in: Lacking Braincells, Wimmenz. Leave a Comment

“It’s actually a concept for a character, but after a little discussion with my friend, I figured that I should work on making more normal-breasted females.”

~ RE: an AIM chat with a gamer I know who draws concept art for his stories. Or something.

# 673

Posted by steriledirt on October 10, 2011
Posted in: "Hardcore" Bullshit, Unwarranted Nerdgasms. Leave a Comment

“What do you mean you’ve never played FF7? How do you have any integrity as a gamer?!”

~ I overheard this conversation in my class room one Friday afternoon — to which I nearly intruded to respond, “I’ve never seen Braveheart — I guess I have no integrity as a movie-watcher.”

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